The Future is Bright

Where to start eh?

It seems like a lifetime ago when Candy contacted me, eons ago when we talked on the phone and an eternity since we made our plans to meet up together.
And after only three days of being together, I know with my whole being that I never want to be apart from her ever again, both of us have waited for the karmic forces of the infinite universe to allow us to be together, and now, very soon we will be together for the rest of our lives.
I’m planning on moving up to York within the next 8 weeks, I’m already looking for work up there, and I have somewhere to stay for the moment.
Plus I have asked Candy to marry me and she has said yes! so officially we are engaged.
I think it’s about time that we thought about ourselves for a change instead of others, our happiness and future, future eh?
For once I have a future, a real future full of happiness with the woman of my dreams.
Candy is honestly quite perfect for me, she’s an expect on sci-fi, comic books, weapons, fighting. She has a wicked laugh that makes me smile, she is very sexy, she has a smile that always melts my heart, I love her bed socks which are cute, she has a very strong personality and a strong heart, she has beautiful green eyes that I can lose myself in, and she also has that vulnerable innocent look that brings out the guardian inside of me.
With all my heart, I really love her.
Candy has already met my best friend Debbie, and Debs loves her to bits.
Most of my close friends are happy for me and for us, including Candy’s friends.
I know for a fact that this will work out and we will be very happy together.
I admit it is a huge step for the both of us, but it also feels just right, that we have been waiting for this all our lives,
So no matter what people say, we will be together.

Went round Martin and Sarah’s house on Sunday night for a social night; it has been a very long time for the three of us to be together for a good night.
Drank quite a bit and had a good meal.
Told them both my good news, which I think they took quite well.

Monday I met up with Debbie and Andy for drinks, had a bloody good time, talked about what I’m doing and they totally back me up, told me that I should never let go of happiness or love.
In the evening I went over to Martin and Sarah’s house for the closed medium circle, I have missed out on the last two, so I needed to catch up.
Told Jess my news and she was really happy for me, as was everyone else. They were just a slight concerned about me as it has gone really fast, but I have been waiting for Candy all my life, and I am never going to lose her again.

Tuesday I just stayed at home, did a small bit of packing and chatted to Candy and Debbie on the phone.

A New Hope

This week has been the most weird, fantastic, and wonderful week ever!
I have fallen for Candy in a big way; I should really say we have fallen for each other in a big way cuz that’s what has happened.
And it really is crazy that both of us are feeling like this, but it feels so right.
I have never ever felt like this about anyone I have ever met, Christ almighty I’m in love!
And something like this does not happen to me, me of all people, I mean come on this is Jason we are talking about here.
Good things never happen to me, not like this.
But somehow the cosmic universe/fate/something has decided that I need a break at last and has given me my Candy back.
It really is meant to be between us, I am so intoxicated by her that it’s hard to sleep, eat or breathe.
Bloody hell this is so intense.
Words really can’t describe how I’m feeling right now.
…
Anywhoo

Apart from spending hours chatting to Candy, I’ve also been doing some more job hunting as well this week, really need a job as soon as possible now.

Spent most of the morning/afternoon on Wednesday with Debbie, walking around the shopping centre and having coffee.
We had a very good chat about things, and I gave her my advice on some problems she has got at the moment.
Debs is so my best friend, I told her about Candy, and she was really happy for me/us.

Got lots to do today, it’s Andy’s birthday today, so Debbie and I are meeting up with him at Hogshead to celebrate his birthday with him.
Then at 5pm I’ve got an interview at Milliets, which is a sports/leisure shop.
Hopefully I will be able to get this job, as I would still love to work in the City Centre.

I can’t believe how much things have changed for me over the last few years.

2003 was the year of my rebirth
2004 was the year of new hope
And now 2005 will be the year that I will take over, take charge of my life and finally get my life where I want it to be.
There’s no stopping me now.
The world will be mine!
Mwahahahaha! (Dr.Evil laugh)

I’ve been thinking a lot about my life recently, and what sacrifices I have had to make over the years.
And you know what?
It is about bloody time that I started thinking about myself for a change and my happiness and future.
I will never give up my friends,
And I will always be there for them.
But maybe a change of scenery will do me some good, get out of Milton Keynes before the place kills me.

It’s nearly CHRISTMAS TIME!!!!

I’m sitting here in front of my computer thinking about what to write. Thinking about the many decisions that I have made over the last few months, and what my future holds.
Just over a month ago I had no future planned, no job, no prospects and no life.
Then the only woman that I have ever loved came back into my life again, and nothing has been the same since.
Candy has totally changed my life for the better, my whole outlook on the world has flipped on its back, and now I’m looking at things with new eyes and new ideals.
In a few weeks time I will be saying goodbye to Milton Keynes for good, saying goodbye to my friends, and saying goodbye to my flat.
And then saying hello to my new life in Easingwold with Candy, I admit it will take a lot of getting used to, living in the countryside, fresh air, no crime, waking up every morning with Candy beside me.
But I have no regrets, as I know this is the right path for me.
After 29 years, I can finally see a future for myself; a future with Candy, and that future is very bright.

Last Saturday night was the Ghost Hunters UK Christmas party, and it was a very good night.
Had a lot to drink and eat, the food was excellent and so was the company.
We now have an official GHUK mini bus to use on our investigations.
At last our very own mystery machine to track down spooks; ghouls and things that go bump in the night!

Yesterday was such a good day, spent the whole day with Debbie, shopping and having a laugh.
Got my Christmas prezzie from her, a box full of Xmas goodies for Candy and I to share.
James came over last night to take me out to Chillies for dinner.
I got to admit, I will miss our weekly curry nights.

Well tomorrow I’m off to see Candy and spend the whole holiday period with her.
We are going to cook a traditional Christmas dinner with all the trimmings, Christ I can’t wait for that.
I’ve not had a proper Christmas meal in years, and to wake up next to Candy on Christmas morning will be the best present I could ever wish for.

To all my friends I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a very Merry New Year!

FLUFFY!

Wow what a week I’ve had so far!
Spent the whole of last Friday and Saturday job hunting.
Suzy who works at the silver jewellery stall tried getting me a job at the German market but I was a day late, so I applied at the stall instead.
I’ve must have handed out my CV to over a dozen shops this past week, I am so desperate to get some work.
I so need to clear my rent arrears and other debts.
Really don’t want to end up homeless, not after all that I’ve been thru over the years.
One good thing happened to me on Saturday was that Candy texted me, Christ I’ve really missed her, and I must admit I am so falling for her. It feels weird in a good way.
Anywhoo…
Sunday I went over to see Dylan and the gang at the emporium, but I did not stay long as it really was pissing it down, and I did not have my jacket on.
Shamus was the only one there, as Dan had to go home cuz he was ill. I think he might have had a hangover…I so need to go out drinking with these guys.
Oh yeh…hahaha…it was a mini forbidden planet reunion when I first got there in the morning, Paul Rainey, Pete, and Blair were standing there reading comics, and it felt like old times. Paul was the very first manager of forbidden planet and I was the last. Man those were the days.
One thing I do regret about the weekend was that there was a ghost hunt in Devon, and I could not make it as I was job hunting, plus I did think I was going to get this job at the German market.
Oh well, ive only missed out on two investigations in the two years ive been a member, so its not that bad.
My sweetheart texted me again on Sunday, until she ran out of credit.. hahaha, I kinda guessed what happened, so I was all right about it. She really is a sweetheart…
Monday I went up to the shopping centre to meet Rebecca for coffee, as we had loads to catch up on, it’s been a while since we last saw each other.
She works at star bucks now, so ive applied there as well…hahaha
Anyway we had a good chat about stuff that’s happening in our lives and our plans for the future, etc.
Then we went over to the cinema to watch The Incredibles, which she treated me, as I had no cash.
Oh My Gawd! That was such an excellent film, the animation was top class and it was bloody funny.
I did have a closed circle meeting to go to in the evening, but I got called up to do some quick work at royal mail, kind of a training course – on hands experience.
So I could not turn it down.
Shame really as I was looking forward to the circle night, as I don’t know when the next time I will be able to make it.
Yesterday, has so far got to be the best day this week.
Why?
Because I got to chat with Candy for pretty much over 7 hours!! I feel sorry for her phone bill.
She has such a beautiful voice, and a very wicked sense of humour, which I love.
I have learnt a lot more about her in those hours of chatting then I have ever done with any other person that I have cared about.
It felt like I could tell her anything, open my soul to her and let down my shields, which is no mean feat from me, trusting someone like this, falling for someone this fast, but then I realized that I was falling for her last year, and ive never stopped caring about her or thinking about her.
It does frighten me for the fact that I do not want to spoil things with her.
I know she feels the same way about me, I just cant wait until January, so once ive got some money im going up to York to see her.
I know she will read this journal today, and I hope not to make her blush, but she is the most beautiful, sweetest, (Fluffy*) lady I’ve ever met.
* = Private joke!
Every day I am thinking about her, it was so hard to stop talking to her on the phone last night.
“Sighs”
Anywhoo

I’m meeting up with Debbie this morning for coffee and a chat. Hope she is all right.
I’m missing Candy already.

Old Friends

Had a pretty good week so far, been doing alot of job hunting this week as I'm nearly running out of cash.
I find something soon I hope.

Got a letter off Candy at the weekend, finally after all this time she has been in touch, christ I really have missed her.

Met up with two of my best friends on Wednesday, Debbie and Andy.
I am so glad that Debs came out as I have not seen her since October.
She is doing alright, but she has a long way to go yet, I neeed to give her a Tarot reading soon.
Stayed in Hogshead from 10am until 5pm, got kinda pissed, well in fact I lost count of how many beers I had!.

I'm off to do some more job hunting today, so I will post more later.

And So It Begins....

Hi and welcome to my brand new web journal, my previous website was called Eternal Fool (http://www.eternalfool.blogspot.com/)
I spent a good three years on that site and made many changes to the format, but I felt it was time to come to a close in march of this year as my life went through many changes and I needed a fresh start for myself and my website.
So in March I ended Eternal Fool with a very heart warming final entry.
Over the last few months I have been working part time on ideas for my new website that will express who I am now in 2004 and beyond, and I think I have finally cracked it.
So welcome to my world… hope you enjoy the ride.

Tuesday was the two year anniversary of my mum’s death, I was at home all day thinking about what I was going to write and thinking about past times which I normally do anyway, I am always thinking about the past, cant help it really. It’s in the Parkinson/Louis genetic make up to always dwell in the past.
Melanie and I really should try and get out of that circle!

It’s been a long road for me over the last two years, a lot of hardship and tears, but there has been a balance of happiness and laughter as well, which is what I needed.
Friendships have come and gone, a few friends have always stuck by me over the darker times, I think without that, I would have been lost to the dark side.
So a big thank you to all who have helped me, I don’t need to name any names, as you already know who you are.
Anyway, instead of staying at home tuesday night, getting drunk and playing with my dagger collection, I went over to Martin and Sarah’s house for a nice social night, which was good, took my mind of things anyway.

So what have I been up to since March then?
Ok, a quick update for you all –

I got myself a fulltime job at Moss Bros as a hire manager, I used to work for the company 10 years ago, and I hated it then, so why did I go back to again?
I thought things would change, but it did not.
The people there were alright and I did make a few close good friends but the job itself was shit, I was promised a lot of things by my manager but nothing came out of it.
Pay rises, support, and help from other managers was all promised, but nope, nadda, nothing. I really got stressed at the job, and I even got ill at one stage that I had to take two weeks off to recover, when I went back to work, I found that my job had been taken away from me, and I was reduced to a normal sales assistant but had the responsibility to run the office and deal with all the orders.
Did that for two more weeks until I quit the job. I had enough and I needed to get out, one good thing happened that week at Moss, Sophie and Tom left at the beginning of the week, and on the Saturday that I quit, so did Lloyd and Jamal.
Which was cool, a mini walkout that I was proud of.

During the time I was working at Moss, I got myself a girlfriend, her name was Donna, it was a real difficult relationship to start off with and it never got better.
She was going out with a friend of mine, but things never worked out between them, so she asked me out, and well, I could not say no to her.
I knew from the start that things would not work out between us as she had no interest in anything I do, or who I really was.
All she was into was getting drunk and spending my money.
But I hoped things would get better, I even ignored some of my friends who gave me their opinion about her.
I think I was after something she was not, so after two months of going out, I broke up with her, and she was not even that bothered by it.

After leaving Moss, I went back to Just Flowers as a florist, Debbie had left the company in April, so I still saw her on a regular basis, and we always spent my days off together doing lunch and chilling out.
She was the best boss I had ever worked for and a damn good best friend.
Currently she is planning on moving up north somewhere with her husband, which I really am going to miss her. She was the coolest!

I worked at the florist on a part time basis until Rebecca quit to go work for Starbucks, so I took over her job, and started working full time with Erin.
Things were alright at first between us, until the last couple of weeks of October as she was also planning on leaving the company as well.
One moment she was alright and really nice and then she suddenly turned into the bitch from hell, and started treating me like utter shit.
The only person that kept me sane in that job was Chaz (Charlie), a fantastic, funny and cool 15 yr old girl.
She only worked Saturdays, so I requested to work every Saturday, as Erin never liked her.
Chaz made me laugh, a lot, a total sweet girl, and a sweetheart.

After awhile I got so fed up with Erin, that I quit the only job I have ever loved to go work in an office as a temp.
Working at ACR transport was alright, but it was only a two week work contract, so at the moment I am out of work.
Later today and tomorrow I will be doing a lot of job hunting as I have rent to pay and debts to clear

2 months later….

Welcome to Eternal Fool’s last blog entry,
I have been posting on this site since 2001
during a time when I was not really in a good place in myself mentally and spiritually.
But my life over the last 16 months has changed me
so much that I can no longer call myself the Eternal Fool.
And you know that names mean a lot to me.
So my loyal readers and friends who have read about my life these last few years, this will be the final entry…

But don’t fret true believers,
as I will be designing a brand spanking new website/journal,
which will be coming soon to a pc near you.
And the name of that website?
Well the working title
I have floating in my brain at the moment is Nefarious.com ©
I wanted a name to express myself,
and I know I am not evil or wicked but the name is just so damn cool,
plus when I get Black Cat Press set up and running, one of my main characters will be called Nefarious Hades © who will be one of the chief baddies in the BCP universe.
Anyway, got sidetracked there, on to the journal entry,
What I will do is just write briefly on what has been happening to me since 9th Jan.

Eternal Fool: The Final Entry


Christ almighty I have changed a lot over the last two years:
started off 2002 as a bloody hermit, not leaving my bedroom or house,
losing both of my parents and my job,
struggling with little money and lots of debts,
falling out and getting back together with my sister Melanie,
becoming more spiritual in my nature, losing my close friendship with Carl,
taking up role-playing and finishing it because of rows in the group (Orlic the Scarlet Rules!!!),
all the trouble I had with Jo, Kathy, Susan, and Debbie (ex-girlfriends),
joining a ghost hunting group and becoming close friends with them.
Making contact with the local witches here in MK and finding out that most of them are really weird,
losing a lot of weight, growing my hair long, and having it all cut off again,
starting and finishing smoking,
finding out that I can become a great medium if I get the training,
working at Natural World and making some great friends there (Mo, Tracy, Jodie, Donna, and Rob),
getting back into collecting comics (thanks Dylan),
becoming really good friends with Suzy and Daniel,
renewing my friendships with Heena, Rebecca, and Michelle,
working in a florist and enjoying it so much that I fancied taking it up as a full time career,
having a great boss and a great friend in Debbie,
finding out more about my past and the “city”,
designing Eternal Fool, becoming more involved in Para-United,
Moving home after living in the same house for 21 years,
Training my own special abilities, finding out that I’m really good at writing poetry,
enjoying Starbucks first thing in the morning,
chatting to the good people of Midsummer Place security every day (Dave, Phil, Andy and Sue),
getting a damn good job at Moss(thanks Martin),
working with a good bunch of people at Rams (Erin, Judy &Claire)
and now I am more confident on who I am, what I can do,
where I am going and who my true friends are (you know who you are).
I wonder if I will change again over the course of this year?
I think I will, but only for the better.

In January my flat got flooded again during a very bad rain storm,
got in touch with the council repair’s service and they did not do that much,
this is really pissing me off now.
I just want to pack up and leave this dump,
even my neighbour downstairs has damp and mould on his ceilings and walls,
this place is fucking condemned.

More money went missing at natural world at the same time as another member of staff leaving,
so who knows if this person took the money or not,
but my spider sense tells me that she did. Stupid girl.

Went out for a meal with Rob, Donna, and Jodie one night.
Donna and I set up Rob with Jodie,
so it was their first date together, the night was ok,
Jodie did not talk much, Rob had no money so I had to lend him £30,
Donna was in a weird mood,
and I ended up paying for the meal which cost me just over £70 which I was not impressed by that.
And then the evening went from bad to worse
as the fuck wit of the deputy manager –
Chris turned up and wanted to spend time with Donna
as he had some problems he wanted to talk to her about,
which was total bullshit s he just wanted to
cause trouble for me as for some reason he hates my guts
(I think it had something to do with my friendship at the time with Donna).
I really wanted to kick his head in that night,
but Rob and Jodie stopped me from doing it.
But fighting over Donna was not worth it,
yes Chris deserves a good slapping,
but he will get what is coming to him, his type always does.

January 31st was my friend’s Tracy’s birthday,
the evening started with Rob coming over to my flat at
6pm to get ready and to start drinking (I had already started at 5pm),
we then went over to Tracy’s house to continue our drinking session until 9pm
And that’s when we got a taxi to pink punters which is a gay bar,
the reason for us going to a gay bar was that
Tracy used to work there and you never get any trouble from people,
it’s not bad of a place really, quite enjoyed it really.
But it was an eye opener seeing all manner of people dressed up and very camp.
Rob was a bit nervous and so was I when I went to the toilets,
Christ…I won’t do that again. Hahaha
Drank loads and smoked loads that evening (over 40 cigs),
(must resist making a joke about fags!),
the club did not close until 4am so we were all pretty hammered when we got back to Tracy’s.
Had to get more cigarettes for Jodie when we got back,
so Rob and I went over to the bp garage,
it was pissing down with rain and really windy as we walked to the shop.
Went down a muddy hill which we almost slipped,
and going back up it I fell flat on my face,
mud everywhere, all over my clothes, etc.
that all I could do was laugh my head off and I could not stop
(I was drunk btw) by the time we got back to the house,
I was soaked and very muddy. Tracy did offer to wash my clothes,
but I said it was alright (did not want to walk around her house in my boxer shorts)
Could not sleep at all as I was in the living room with Rob,
with Tracy’s kids - Suzy, Ben, and Leigh Anne
who were having a sleep over/ slumber party so they kept us awake all night and morning.

February was a much better month for me,
The Saturday before valentines;
I went out clubbing with Debbie and Rebecca to first base.
It was a damn good night, I was dressed to the max,
with a total different style in clothes (white t-shirt) and it was a good night.
Got chatting to a lady there,
and we ended up dancing for most of the night,
got asked by another lady to dance as well.
The band that was playing there was really good,
a cross between a pop/rock band and a comedy routine.
Kissed the lady good night, but I never got her number or name.
Which I don’t mind now, as it adds a bit of mystique to the evening.
And as for me dancing on the dance floor,
I don’t normally do that as I cant dance very well,
but I surprised myself and had a damn good time.



Worked all valentine week at Just Flowers as we were really busy,
got a bit stressful and a bit short with my friends,
but they understood and were feeling the same as I was.

I was going to go back to Natural World after having valentine’s week off,
but Chris did not schedule me any shifts, as he was being a wanker, so I quit my job.
And I have no regrets in doing that as the job was getting really boring
and having to work with Chris who hated me was getting me down,
plus getting no support from Donna and it felt like she was using me that just pissed me off.
But alas I was offered a full time job at Ramsbotham Florist.
I accepted the offer right away.
Debbie was ill for a while, so I covered her shifts at JF.
But I started having some bad mood swings,
due to being stuck at Just Flowers with no thanks from Mark,
getting moody with Rebecca, and being bloody tired.
Got really bad one day at work that I did something
to myself that I thought I would never ever do and I will never do that again in my future.
I got a pair of scissors and started to cut my left wrist.
But luckily?
Rebecca grabbed them and stopped me from finishing the job.
The cut did not break the skin that much,
but it did bleed a bit and I’ve got a tiny faint scar to remind myself
not too be fucking stupid and life will never ever get that bad again.
I cant believe how bloody stupid I was in what I did,
but things have changed since then.

Another thing happened to me in February which made me ill,
was that the ley line that crosses through Midsummer Place was blocked
And the psychic backlash was a bitch.
I had the worse headaches ever and my energy was almost drained from putting my shields up.
Rebecca also felt it and it made her ill as well.
Turns out that a new coven,
possibly black has moved into the area and were doing a ritual near
a very old church that crosses though a ley line, so whatever they did,
caused such an outburst of negative energy that bitch slapped sensitive people like myself.
The last I heard was that another group had repaired the damage that the coven had caused.


Special mention to my dear friend Michelle,
she’s went into hospital this Thursday for an operation on her hand,
my thoughts and best wishes go to you luv, take damn good care of yourself.

One thing that has happened that has been the mutt’s nuts is me
being headhunted by Martin to go work for him at Moss.
Now I used to work for the company about ten years ago,
and I did hate it due to the most part of the managers being arseholes,
but now that the whole head office has changed and that martin is now manager,
he wants me back working there, but not as a normal sales assistant,
no, he wants me in there as suit hire department manager.
I will be in charge of the whole hire department that deals with weddings, and formal wear, etc.
Fucking ace, back into retail management again, can’t wait!
And the pay package is damn good as well.

So with a lot of sadness and regret I handed my notice in at the florists,
the girls were upset by this as they all loved me,
but they have said if I need a good reference I will get a damn good one (which I have)
and that my job will always be open for me if I want to come back.

One thing that I had to do before I had an informal chat with my area manager is to get a haircut,
I had to cut off my ponytail and get rid of my side burns.
It was a very sad and tearful 20 mins of my life,
but I might grow it back, maybe.

I will be starting my new job on the 22nd March,
and I’ve got the hire managing director coming down to work
with me and to give me a crash course in hire (what I have missed in 10 years) yikes!

also another bit of good news is that I met up with the scooby gang again last week,
and we swapped phone numbers, and everything is cool between us.

So as I come to the end of this journal entry,
my future at the moment is bloody excellent,
all that is missing is love but maybe,
hopefully I will find a woman I can share my life with.

This is the Eternal Fool signing off,
Wherever I am, I am always here
Nothing is forgotten, Nothing is ever forgotten.
Goodbye….

(Coming soon: Nefarious.com)

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!

Ok, I know that was bloody late but what the heck,
I've been bloody busy with work, and going out with friends.
What a wild time I've had in the last few weeks:

Had an excellent Xmas dinner/night out with Debbie and Rebecca from Just Flowers on the 18th Dec,
damn good night. the meal was really good,
the only let down was when we went to the bar downstairs,
it was pretty dead, and the band was shite, but apart from that, had a very good time.

the 20th of Dec, while I was working at the florists, eating my cheese sandwich lunch, I broke my bloody tooth
I was in fucking pain big time, Been on really strong painkillers ever since,
and I have my appointment with the dentist's next week (15th Jan)

Candy texted me for the last time (so far) on the 23rd Dec,
Don't know what went wrong, as the texts were really promising and good for the future...
Who knows....texted and rang her loads over the weeks, but I have had no reply back.
oh well..... :-(

Got THE BEST Xmas present ever on Xmas eve, Debbie (boss at Just Flowers)
got me a huge box full of food and drink, whisky, beer, biscuits, etc
Love her to bits, she is so bloody cool
Rebecca got me a Buffy CD which was excellent....Two very cool friends ;-)

My Christmas was very quiet and a bit boring,
did not have a decent meal, as I had not enough money to splash out on food as such, so I just had the basics.
watched TV and read my book that I had bought myself.
Carl rang me up to have a chat about stuff,
mostly about James and what a fucking arse he has been towards me and everyone else he meets....
His day of reckoning is coming soon...Mark my words...He is going down !!!

Heena came over for a few hours on the Saturday after Xmas (27th)
we had a very long chat about stuff, catching up on the gossip as we have not seen each other in a while,
she's got herself a new boyfriend now, who seems really nice.
best thing was, that we smoked a spliff together, so that got rid of some of the pain from my tooth.

Vicki rang me up on the 29th Dec, to tell me off for not staying in touch in the last month,
which was a laugh as she could have easily been in contact with me if she wanted to.
Anyway, she's coming down next month sometime.
she might be moving to Spain this year or next, best of luck if she does.
as I will miss her, even if we don't see each other that much, she is still one of my oldest friends.

Got made part time at Natural World, which I'm glad,
as I can work at both Just Flowers and Natural World, plus look for some agency work as well.
So all in all, its worked out pretty good for me.

Met the elder witches of MK on the 31st Dec - Dot and Reg, very creepy in a way witches,
they have asked me to join their coven, but after a chat with Melanie and listening to my own spirit,
I have declined their offer.
as it would not suit me to be part of their "coven/cult"

finally got paid my wages on new years eve, im rich im rich !!!!
bought loads of food, booze, books, comics, and DVD's...LOL
shite...im poor im poor...hahaha
nah, im not, still got loads of money,
but it was a good feeling to have some money at last, its been a while.

had a very good and relaxing new years day, just chilled really,
popped into work for a chat with my friends, did loads of shopping and just chilled.

finally got to meet up with SUZY & DANIEL
HIYA SUZY !!! Told ya I would mention you both.
had a good drinking session and a chat with them both,
have not seen suzy since August last year when she was on leave,
and I wont see her again until May sometime...Bugger....Oh well....Threes always the internet ..LOL

bumped into two old friends of mine last week, Kingsley Pilgrim and Claire Yeend
have not seen these two in years....
Both are doing really well with themselves, and Kingsley is famous !!!!

Donna, gave me her computer, printer, monitor, keyboard, computer desk and chair the other day,
she went all the way to southseas to fetch it for me,
what a total darling, cheers Hun.

went bowling on Wednesday night, it was a damn good night,
had a few shitty moments cuz of a couple of staff members,
but it was a good night in the end, and I got five strikes in a row...
Damn I was good...yeh ok...I was still beaten by Ben, a 9 yr old kid, but still....FIVE STRIKES !!! hahahaha

been thinking about last year alot,
Last year has been such a whirlwind of emotions, both good and bad.
I have changed alot over the last 12 months,
from being depressed and suicidal to being strong and confident again,
with hope in my heart and a sparkle in my spirit.
I have lost and gained loads of friends, both old and new.
all of them have helped me on my path that I am on now,
even if they did not know that they were helping, they did.
I have grown in my abilities as a psychic and as a witch,
I have resealed my ties again with Melanie, gotten closer to her and I have two wonderful jobs that I love.
I am bloody glad, that I did not end it all, that my attempts at suicide failed, as it is not my time to go yet
when I do go and pass over to spirit,
I'm going out in a blaze of glory, taking all my enemies out with me in one final huge ass bomb.....hahahaha
lets just hope that 2004, this year will bring more happiness and more success for me,
and maybe hopefully some love, as I need the tlc of a good woman...LOL