2 months later….

Welcome to Eternal Fool’s last blog entry,
I have been posting on this site since 2001
during a time when I was not really in a good place in myself mentally and spiritually.
But my life over the last 16 months has changed me
so much that I can no longer call myself the Eternal Fool.
And you know that names mean a lot to me.
So my loyal readers and friends who have read about my life these last few years, this will be the final entry…

But don’t fret true believers,
as I will be designing a brand spanking new website/journal,
which will be coming soon to a pc near you.
And the name of that website?
Well the working title
I have floating in my brain at the moment is Nefarious.com ©
I wanted a name to express myself,
and I know I am not evil or wicked but the name is just so damn cool,
plus when I get Black Cat Press set up and running, one of my main characters will be called Nefarious Hades © who will be one of the chief baddies in the BCP universe.
Anyway, got sidetracked there, on to the journal entry,
What I will do is just write briefly on what has been happening to me since 9th Jan.

Eternal Fool: The Final Entry


Christ almighty I have changed a lot over the last two years:
started off 2002 as a bloody hermit, not leaving my bedroom or house,
losing both of my parents and my job,
struggling with little money and lots of debts,
falling out and getting back together with my sister Melanie,
becoming more spiritual in my nature, losing my close friendship with Carl,
taking up role-playing and finishing it because of rows in the group (Orlic the Scarlet Rules!!!),
all the trouble I had with Jo, Kathy, Susan, and Debbie (ex-girlfriends),
joining a ghost hunting group and becoming close friends with them.
Making contact with the local witches here in MK and finding out that most of them are really weird,
losing a lot of weight, growing my hair long, and having it all cut off again,
starting and finishing smoking,
finding out that I can become a great medium if I get the training,
working at Natural World and making some great friends there (Mo, Tracy, Jodie, Donna, and Rob),
getting back into collecting comics (thanks Dylan),
becoming really good friends with Suzy and Daniel,
renewing my friendships with Heena, Rebecca, and Michelle,
working in a florist and enjoying it so much that I fancied taking it up as a full time career,
having a great boss and a great friend in Debbie,
finding out more about my past and the “city”,
designing Eternal Fool, becoming more involved in Para-United,
Moving home after living in the same house for 21 years,
Training my own special abilities, finding out that I’m really good at writing poetry,
enjoying Starbucks first thing in the morning,
chatting to the good people of Midsummer Place security every day (Dave, Phil, Andy and Sue),
getting a damn good job at Moss(thanks Martin),
working with a good bunch of people at Rams (Erin, Judy &Claire)
and now I am more confident on who I am, what I can do,
where I am going and who my true friends are (you know who you are).
I wonder if I will change again over the course of this year?
I think I will, but only for the better.

In January my flat got flooded again during a very bad rain storm,
got in touch with the council repair’s service and they did not do that much,
this is really pissing me off now.
I just want to pack up and leave this dump,
even my neighbour downstairs has damp and mould on his ceilings and walls,
this place is fucking condemned.

More money went missing at natural world at the same time as another member of staff leaving,
so who knows if this person took the money or not,
but my spider sense tells me that she did. Stupid girl.

Went out for a meal with Rob, Donna, and Jodie one night.
Donna and I set up Rob with Jodie,
so it was their first date together, the night was ok,
Jodie did not talk much, Rob had no money so I had to lend him £30,
Donna was in a weird mood,
and I ended up paying for the meal which cost me just over £70 which I was not impressed by that.
And then the evening went from bad to worse
as the fuck wit of the deputy manager –
Chris turned up and wanted to spend time with Donna
as he had some problems he wanted to talk to her about,
which was total bullshit s he just wanted to
cause trouble for me as for some reason he hates my guts
(I think it had something to do with my friendship at the time with Donna).
I really wanted to kick his head in that night,
but Rob and Jodie stopped me from doing it.
But fighting over Donna was not worth it,
yes Chris deserves a good slapping,
but he will get what is coming to him, his type always does.

January 31st was my friend’s Tracy’s birthday,
the evening started with Rob coming over to my flat at
6pm to get ready and to start drinking (I had already started at 5pm),
we then went over to Tracy’s house to continue our drinking session until 9pm
And that’s when we got a taxi to pink punters which is a gay bar,
the reason for us going to a gay bar was that
Tracy used to work there and you never get any trouble from people,
it’s not bad of a place really, quite enjoyed it really.
But it was an eye opener seeing all manner of people dressed up and very camp.
Rob was a bit nervous and so was I when I went to the toilets,
Christ…I won’t do that again. Hahaha
Drank loads and smoked loads that evening (over 40 cigs),
(must resist making a joke about fags!),
the club did not close until 4am so we were all pretty hammered when we got back to Tracy’s.
Had to get more cigarettes for Jodie when we got back,
so Rob and I went over to the bp garage,
it was pissing down with rain and really windy as we walked to the shop.
Went down a muddy hill which we almost slipped,
and going back up it I fell flat on my face,
mud everywhere, all over my clothes, etc.
that all I could do was laugh my head off and I could not stop
(I was drunk btw) by the time we got back to the house,
I was soaked and very muddy. Tracy did offer to wash my clothes,
but I said it was alright (did not want to walk around her house in my boxer shorts)
Could not sleep at all as I was in the living room with Rob,
with Tracy’s kids - Suzy, Ben, and Leigh Anne
who were having a sleep over/ slumber party so they kept us awake all night and morning.

February was a much better month for me,
The Saturday before valentines;
I went out clubbing with Debbie and Rebecca to first base.
It was a damn good night, I was dressed to the max,
with a total different style in clothes (white t-shirt) and it was a good night.
Got chatting to a lady there,
and we ended up dancing for most of the night,
got asked by another lady to dance as well.
The band that was playing there was really good,
a cross between a pop/rock band and a comedy routine.
Kissed the lady good night, but I never got her number or name.
Which I don’t mind now, as it adds a bit of mystique to the evening.
And as for me dancing on the dance floor,
I don’t normally do that as I cant dance very well,
but I surprised myself and had a damn good time.



Worked all valentine week at Just Flowers as we were really busy,
got a bit stressful and a bit short with my friends,
but they understood and were feeling the same as I was.

I was going to go back to Natural World after having valentine’s week off,
but Chris did not schedule me any shifts, as he was being a wanker, so I quit my job.
And I have no regrets in doing that as the job was getting really boring
and having to work with Chris who hated me was getting me down,
plus getting no support from Donna and it felt like she was using me that just pissed me off.
But alas I was offered a full time job at Ramsbotham Florist.
I accepted the offer right away.
Debbie was ill for a while, so I covered her shifts at JF.
But I started having some bad mood swings,
due to being stuck at Just Flowers with no thanks from Mark,
getting moody with Rebecca, and being bloody tired.
Got really bad one day at work that I did something
to myself that I thought I would never ever do and I will never do that again in my future.
I got a pair of scissors and started to cut my left wrist.
But luckily?
Rebecca grabbed them and stopped me from finishing the job.
The cut did not break the skin that much,
but it did bleed a bit and I’ve got a tiny faint scar to remind myself
not too be fucking stupid and life will never ever get that bad again.
I cant believe how bloody stupid I was in what I did,
but things have changed since then.

Another thing happened to me in February which made me ill,
was that the ley line that crosses through Midsummer Place was blocked
And the psychic backlash was a bitch.
I had the worse headaches ever and my energy was almost drained from putting my shields up.
Rebecca also felt it and it made her ill as well.
Turns out that a new coven,
possibly black has moved into the area and were doing a ritual near
a very old church that crosses though a ley line, so whatever they did,
caused such an outburst of negative energy that bitch slapped sensitive people like myself.
The last I heard was that another group had repaired the damage that the coven had caused.


Special mention to my dear friend Michelle,
she’s went into hospital this Thursday for an operation on her hand,
my thoughts and best wishes go to you luv, take damn good care of yourself.

One thing that has happened that has been the mutt’s nuts is me
being headhunted by Martin to go work for him at Moss.
Now I used to work for the company about ten years ago,
and I did hate it due to the most part of the managers being arseholes,
but now that the whole head office has changed and that martin is now manager,
he wants me back working there, but not as a normal sales assistant,
no, he wants me in there as suit hire department manager.
I will be in charge of the whole hire department that deals with weddings, and formal wear, etc.
Fucking ace, back into retail management again, can’t wait!
And the pay package is damn good as well.

So with a lot of sadness and regret I handed my notice in at the florists,
the girls were upset by this as they all loved me,
but they have said if I need a good reference I will get a damn good one (which I have)
and that my job will always be open for me if I want to come back.

One thing that I had to do before I had an informal chat with my area manager is to get a haircut,
I had to cut off my ponytail and get rid of my side burns.
It was a very sad and tearful 20 mins of my life,
but I might grow it back, maybe.

I will be starting my new job on the 22nd March,
and I’ve got the hire managing director coming down to work
with me and to give me a crash course in hire (what I have missed in 10 years) yikes!

also another bit of good news is that I met up with the scooby gang again last week,
and we swapped phone numbers, and everything is cool between us.

So as I come to the end of this journal entry,
my future at the moment is bloody excellent,
all that is missing is love but maybe,
hopefully I will find a woman I can share my life with.

This is the Eternal Fool signing off,
Wherever I am, I am always here
Nothing is forgotten, Nothing is ever forgotten.
Goodbye….

(Coming soon: Nefarious.com)